After All
by BlogFanfiction
Summary: "I'm sure that you're what I want Jake. That's all I need to know." It's been a long time coming. Will it be worth the wait? Jacob/Bella.


**Authors Note: Thank you for dropping by to give my story a read! This is my first attempt at a Twilight fan fiction (after years spent as a closet Twilight smut reader...what can I say, the wolves do it for me). I hope that you'll enjoy it. If you do, reviews are welcome and appreciated, if you don't, well...there are lots of stories on this site, I'm sure one will tickle your fancy even if mine isn't it.**

**A GIANT tackle hug of thanks to the amazing meliz875 for betaing this for me. I learned more in the hour I spent reading her comments than I did in my last college English class (that says more about how great she is and less about the state of the American educational system). And air kisses to all the Twilight ladies who follow my twitter and offer help, encouragement and the occasional shirtless Jacob pic. Y'all keep me sane.**

**XXOO-BlogFanfiction**

**Disclaimer: Any recognizable characters are the property of the Twilight franchise. I'm doing this for fun, not for profit. I obviously do not own these characters. If I did Breaking Dawn would have been a MUCH different story.**

* * *

**After All **

"This is ridiculous."

Bella pulled the fitted red sweater off, struggling to free herself before tossing it onto the bed with a tangle of other discarded choices.

_It shouldn't be this hard_, she thought, letting out an anxious sigh as she took a seat on the only empty space at the foot of her bed. She'd spent the better part of an hour going through her closet trying on and deciding against outfit after outfit. If Alice were here she'd know exactly what to do. She'd reach into the closet and without looking pull out exactly the right outfit; something Bella would frown at but, after trying it on, grudgingly agree that it was perfect.

But Alice wasn't here. None of them were.

And that was okay.

It had been a year. Twelve months during which she'd run the gamut of emotion. Denial, fear and finally anger so intense it had threatened to consume her. Edward had remained true to his word and after that day, where the clouds above them seemed to become a real thing, squeezing in on her, choking out her ability to breath, she'd never seen him again. Not a word in twelve months. He promised to love her, to always love her, a promise he'd tossed aside 'for her own good'.

But the promise to leave her were words he seemed to take seriously.

The absence of him and his family, who'd become an extension of her own, left a hole in her life and for the better part of six months she'd struggled not to lose herself in it. She'd fought the desire to let the sadness swallow her. It was a fight she'd almost lost, and she surely would have, if not for him. The thought brought a smile to her face and she felt her pulse quicken.

Jacob.

Annoying son of her father's fishing buddy, turned best friend, turned – lifeline. If he heard her call him that she knew a blush would fill his face while he tried to deny it. It was yet another way he and Edward differed. There was such an unassuming humility about Jacob's demeanor. Protecting the people he loved, making sure that they were safe, and happy, he considered it his duty, not something to be applauded or rewarded for. It only made her love him more.

And she did love him.

It wasn't something that happened quickly. In fact she'd only realized it in the last three months. Her love for Edward was like fireworks, vivid and loud filling every sense, consuming every other thought. She'd loved him with a desperation that was without thought or understanding. She thought he'd loved her the same way. It seemed right, like the thing she was put on Earth to do. It was only after he left she realized how close she'd been to losing herself. How much that love almost cost her.

That kind of love was exciting but it was also dangerous. Inside of the cocoon it created she gave up her ability to think for herself or to consider how the emotion that consumed her might be unhealthy for her or the people around her.

It was a love that cost more than it gave.

With Jacob it was different. It was this difference, she suspected, that made it so hard to recognize it for what it was. It crept in softly. It didn't fill her senses, it enhanced them. It didn't shoot off like fireworks, it burned slowly beneath the surface, growing between them and around them; a soft lit backdrop to a world she thought might forever be dark.

He hadn't pushed her, hadn't forced his way or been insistent in his desire. The approach was new, but in the wake of a broken heart Bella was grateful. After Edward left the last thing she wanted was to hear someone's declarations of love. She didn't want love – she wanted a friend.

And that's what Jacob was.

When he heard Edward was gone she'd expected him to be jubilant, maybe even turn cartwheels in the yard outside her house. But he hadn't. His jaw had tensed, and his eyes darkened. He was silent for the span of several minutes and when he finally spoke, his voice heavy with an emotion she couldn't readily identify, he'd simply said he was sorry. There was no patronizing or condescension in his tone. She knew he'd meant it. And she'd been grateful.

It was the beginning of everything changing.

He was patient with her those long sad months, first joining her in her room when just the mention of leaving the house for anything but school reduced her to tears. Later he coaxed her out of the safety of Charlie's worried gaze to the seclusion of his garage. They'd spent hours there, talking and not talking. Laughing and joking and, sometimes, forgetting there had ever been a time when the beauty of their friendship was threatened.

Eventually she'd stopped checking her email every hour hoping for a message from him. She'd taken off the two extra comforters on her bed and stopped sleeping with her window open. She no longer found herself sitting behind the wheel of her truck in front of the Cullen's abandoned house. She didn't forget, and she wasn't sure she'd ever forgive, but she moved on.

She moved on because, finally, she had something to move toward.

The realization of what she and Jacob had become – the knowledge that a friendship had turned into love, came to her simply. She was standing in the middle of the kitchen laughing at the back and forth teasing between Charlie and Jacob as they sat in the living room watching the Mariners game with Billy. She'd made Jacob's favorite lasagna, and was just putting the finishing touches on the salad. She hadn't noticed he'd entered the room until she'd turned toward the table, his imposing frame filling the doorway. He stood with his arms crossed, a lazy smile on his face as he watched her. He was beautiful, the stark white t-shirt he wore stretched tight over the thick muscles of his chest, dark jeans slung low on his hips.

But it wasn't his body that made her pause; it was the look in his eyes. They'd stared right into hers.

"_Dinner almost ready?" he said, "I'm starving!"_

"_You're always starving," she laughed, "but yeah, it's almost done. I just have to finish this salad." His nose wrinkled. As large as his appetite was, it was still a struggle to get him to eat any kind of vegetable. _

"_Does it have those nasty green things in it?"_

"_They're called green peppers, Jake, and they're not nasty. They're good for you." He frowned like a two-year-old presented with a plate of Brussels sprouts and without thinking she said, "What are you going to do when our kids won't eat their vegetables?"_

The comment shocked them both. Him, she was sure, because she'd never mentioned the future, especially not in terms of there being an 'us' in it. Her, because until that moment she hadn't realized just how right a future with him felt.

Or how confident her heart already was that it would happen.

They'd laughed and after placing a soft kiss to her lips, Jake retreated back to the living room. The moment passed but what it created, the certainty that what was between them wasn't just friendship and it wasn't temporary, changed everything.

The easy way they had with each other stayed the same. But now there was a new element to their time together, a heat that bubbled beneath the surface and filled the silence in any room they were in. The pack noticed it. Jake said t Leah asked him to kindly keep his 'pervy thoughts about the pale face' to himself. Emily invited her over under the guise of helping cook for a bonfire and quietly asked how things were with Jake. Bella's face flushed.

"_They're great, Em. Really good."_

"_That's wonderful, Bella." She'd smiled as she leaned over the counter where she was mixing up a batch of cookies. "You really make Jacob happy. It's good to see him happy."_

The request not to hurt him again wasn't spoken, but Bella heard it just the same.

The rest of Jacob's pack brothers took it all in stride. After six months with no sign of the Cullens returning they'd stopped calling her Vampire Girl. She was Jake's girl now and they'd accepted that fact and her.

She was a part of their family now.

Everyone in the small bubble of their world seemed to approve of their decision to really be together. When they'd told Charlie and Billy over dinner one night, Jacob speaking for them both as he reached across the table to grasp Bella's hand, Billy immediately laughed and turned to Charlie who reached into his pocket, drew out his wallet and handed Billy a crisp ten-dollar bill. Jacob and Bella looked between the two of them in confusion.

"_He said give it a year. I said you two wouldn't last six months. It's been five." Billy laughed, "I win."_

Jacob was still laughing about it when he wrapped his arms around her on the porch before saying goodbye that night. Bella thought it was awful they'd placed bets on she and Jacob being together. But Jacob had a different answer.

"_They did because they knew we belong together, Bells. And I knew it too. You're the only one who needed convincing." _

She believed him. Once she'd stopped fighting it, being with Jacob had come as natural as breathing. She loved him, and as she became comfortable in that love, a new feeling presented itself.

She wanted him.

Sitting on the bed, a shiver ran down her spine at the thought. Any woman, or man, with eyes could see how sexy Jake was. Tall and muscular with the russet skin and jet black hair characteristic of his Quileute ancestry. His face had a boyish quality that made the raw sexuality of his body even more irresistible. He was, as Jessica had been known to say, "sex on legs".

In the beginning they'd kissed, soft tender things in the quiet of his garage or the seclusion of his room or hers. They were tentative at first, like they were getting to know each other in a new way. But as she relaxed and grew used to the way his lips felt beneath hers, to the heated trail his hands left as they ran over her back or across her face, she couldn't ignore the sparks of want that shot off in her every time he touched her.

Now she knew his body almost as well as her own. She knew just what spot on his neck she could nibble to illicit the moan that rippled through him. She knew the planes of his chest and just how to turn when he lay against her so that she fit perfectly between his muscled thighs.

Last week they were laying on her bed, his body draped carefully over hers, both of them trying to be quiet so as not to wake her sleeping father. His lips left heated kisses along her neck, his hands running over her ribcage, resting on her breasts as she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer. As he lowered himself onto her she'd felt it, the firm proof of his desire for her, hard and insistent against her leg. She'd felt it before but that night it sent a current of desire coursing through her, right to her core, and she'd known then.

She was ready.

She told him as much and, to his credit, he'd maintained his composure. He'd asked her if she was sure, because he didn't want there to be any doubts or regret.

"I could never regret anything I do with you."

She'd meant those words, reaching down between them to undo the button on his cut off shorts.

"Wait!" Jacob moved off her and she couldn't hide her shock or the feeling of rejection creeping up like acid in her throat.

"I thought this is what you wanted, Jake," she said, her voice shaky as she sat up and looked over at him, "I thought you wanted…me."

"Oh, Bells," he laughed, "I think it's pretty obvious exactly how much I want you," He looked from her to his lap where the material of his cut offs was strained to its limit, "I just want it to be special. Not in your room with me dressed like this and your father on the other side of the hall."

He'd reached over, wrapping his arms around her, laying them both back on her bed. She'd lay on his chest, grateful in the knowledge that he wanted her, terrified at what it meant. They'd made plans; well, they'd agreed that he'd make plans. He didn't want it to be like everyone else's first time. Paul, apparently, had his first time in the back of the Forks Supermarket parking lot in his mother's beat up Impala. Quil's first time had been on First Beach, both he and the girl too drunk to remember it later.

"You deserve better than that, Bells. I'm going to make this the best night of your life."

"Of our lives," she'd said.

So there she sat, just two hours from the biggest night of her life, in a pair of flannel pajama pants and no shirt with absolutely no idea what to do.

Jacob made all the plans. He'd told her all she needed to do was pack an overnight bag, dress nicely and be ready on Saturday at six o'clock. Billy and Charlie were going on their annual weekend fishing expedition. They'd left an hour ago and Bella did her best not to raise any suspicion before Charlie left – telling him she planned to stay in most of the weekend and maybe head to Port Angeles with Jessica and Angela on Sunday morning. He'd left her some money, told her to be careful and let her know that if he found out Jake stayed at their house all weekend he would not hesitate to shoot him. She told him Jake might come over but he wouldn't be spending the night.

"_Not here anyway," s_he'd thought, and the butterflies were let loose again in the pit of her stomach as she considered where they would be spending the night – and what that night would bring.

Four thirty.

Time was moving too fast. She still needed to shower and do something with her hair, shave her legs and …other things.

She walked over to her closet and pulled out a dress. It was deep blue jersey knit, falling open over one shoulder and ending at the middle of her thigh. It had been an Alice purchase, and the one day Jacob had seen her in it he declared Alice a genius – a foul-smelling, blood sucking genius. It wasn't new but it worked. There would be plenty of new things about tonight – her outfit didn't need to be one of them.

_Get it together, Bella,_ she thought. _It's going to be fine._

God, she hoped she was right.

* * *

"…And when he found out that Embry took his clothes he had to walk home through the woods swinging like a drunken helicopter."

Jacob's laugh filled the car and Bella joined him. The mental picture of a pissed off, naked Paul doing the walk of shame through the woods was just too much to resist. Of all Jacob's pack brothers, Paul had given her the hardest time. Served him right.

"He's got patrol with Embry tonight. Man, I'd pay money to see how that one turns out!"

"Embry's tough…he'll be fine."

"Yeah, he's tough, but Paul's crazy so it could go either way." Jacob stared out at the road ahead of them, littered with lights on either side from the buildings and restaurants they passed driving through Port Angeles' main strip.

The night had been amazing. She was never one for dressing up or making a big fuss. To her a night spent on her couch or Jacob's eating pizza and watching movies was 'date night' enough for her. She didn't need the frills that most girls did. The last two years of her life were filled enough with drama and adventure – quiet and boring suited her just fine. But even she had to admit that it was fun to do something different.

Jacob arrived at her house at six o'clock sharp, his musky scent wafting through the air when she opened the door, reminding her of crisp ocean water and the darkness of the forest. He'd paired a pair of black slacks with a deep burgundy button up shirt, the sleeves rolled over the thickness of his forearms. It wasn't overly dressy but compared to his uniform of no shirt and cut offs it might as well been a tuxedo.

"Wow, Bells," he'd said, "You look amazing." She couldn't stop the blush from rising in her cheeks as his eyes took in how much more flesh she was showing than usual. "I love that dress on you." She was glad she'd chosen it even if she could already feel the chill in the air.

They drove to Port Angeles in virtual silence, each of them stealing period looks across the front seat at the other. It was awkward, the enormity of the night and how they intended for it to end hung in the air between them. Finally, they pulled into the parking lot of a small, quaint Italian restaurant. Before she could exit the car Jacob reached across and grabbed her arm.

"Listen, Bella. Is it just me or does this feel…"

"Horribly awkward?" she asked laughing as Jacob's previously tense face relaxed.

"Yes!"

"It is!" She sat back in her seat. "I thought it was just me."

The laughter seemed to relieve the tension surrounding them and Jacob turned to her.

"Okay, let's make a deal."

Bella raised an eyebrow, "A deal?"

"Yep, we're going to go in here and have dinner. We're going to eat some good food and laugh and…we're not going to think about…"

"After dinner."

"Right. We're just going to be us. Jake and Bells – no pressure." He looked over at her. "Deal?"

Smiling, she glanced at his hand before leaning over to place a kiss against his lips. "Deal."

After that the night passed pleasantly. Jacob amazed her yet again with his ability to eat more than any two normal men combined. She'd picked at her ravioli but devoured the tiramisu they had for dessert, feeding Jacob bites of it from her plate.

They'd kept to their deal and for the whole of dinner she'd almost forgotten what was coming. Now, back in the car headed toward the hotel, the anxiety returned to its home in the pit of her stomach.

"So…" Bella asked quietly, "Do they, um…the guys. Do they know where we're going tonight?"

"Yeah…most of them do. Leah couldn't give two shits. The rest of them, they, um…wished me luck." He blushed and cast a sideways glance at Bella, who was trying to disappear into her seat.

"Oh my God, Jake! They know what…"

"What we're doing in Port Angeles? Pack mind, Bells…not much I can do about it."

"I'm never going to hear the end of this, am I?" She groaned, her face buried in her hands.

"Well, they'd have known anyway, Bells."

She studied him, confusion on her face. "How?"

Jacob cleared his throat. "Well, being wolves and everything, they'd uh, be able to…smell it. Smell me on you…" He waited for the reaction he was sure was coming.

"What?" Bella bolted upright in her seat, turning to face him, her back leaning against the passenger side door. "Are you kidding me, Jacob?"

"Nope," he said, "'Fraid not."

"Oh my God." Bella lapsed into silence, flopping back against her seat, staring out the front windshield in disbelief. Jacob let what he said settle in, hoping and praying that it wouldn't ruin what was, otherwise, an amazing night.

He planned it down to the smallest detail. He found just the right restaurant. He washed the Rabbit, cleared it of the fast food containers and papers that littered the interior, until it was cleaner than he'd ever seen it. He enlisted the services of a friend of Paul's who got him a driver's license that said he was twenty-one instead of seventeen and booked a hotel with some kind of fancy bed they guaranteed would give him and Bella 'the best nights sleep they'd ever had'. He hoped she liked it – but he also hoped they didn't spend the night sleeping. From the look on her face that hope might have to be deferred.

"Come on, Bells, talk to me."

"About what?" she grumbled miserably. "The fact that the entire reservation knows what's…supposed to happen tonight?"

Jacob sighed, searching for the right words. He didn't want to push her. He loved her enough that he'd take her home right now if she wanted, or spend the night in this hotel that cost him a pretty penny, watching movies without her. He'd have to take cold showers for eternity, but he'd do it if he had to. He loved her that much.

"Bells, tonight wasn't just about…sex." He looked over at where she sat, avoiding his eyes. "I mean, don't get me wrong – I want to be with you. I want to make love to you, but it's not…everything." He reached out for her hand, "Bells, look at me honey."

Reluctantly she looked at him, her brown eyes filled with worry and his heart strained against his chest. He'd move heaven for this woman. "I love you. And I'll love you no matter what happens tonight."

Bella sighed and looked down at their joined hands, squeezing his before giving him a soft smile.

"It's fine, Jake. I just…I don't know. This pack mind thing, it was different when there was…less of us for them to see, I guess. It's just going to take some getting used to."

"You're sure you still want to go? You're sure this…is what you want." he asked, his mind screaming _please say yes, please say yes!_

She looked at him, the fear in her eyes replaced with confidence. "I'm sure that you're what I want, Jake. That's all I need to know."

* * *

It had all been a blur. Walking through the lobby, her hand in his, the elevator ride. Even when they entered the room, she couldn't exactly recall what he'd said to her, if anything. She'd escaped immediately into the bathroom, desperate for some time to calm herself.

It was ridiculous really. She'd told him not ten minutes earlier she was ready – that this was what she wanted but, now that the moment was here, she was terrified. She wanted nothing more than to be with Jacob that way, and she knew he wanted it too. Her fear had less to do with the act itself and more to do with how it might affect everything else that made them … them.

She worried while she showered, while she removed her dress, while she brushed her teeth. And now she stood in the full-length mirror, trying to shake the doubts away as she brushed her hair.

Jacob loved her – of that much she was sure. And as much as it was in his power to do so, he promised never to leave her. She trusted that. She trusted him with her life when it came down to it. She knew her worries were probably typical. She knew if ever there was someone to whom she could give something this precious and know they understood the value, it was Jacob.

She sighed and looked into her bag. It was fairly empty. She hadn't bought lingerie or get-ups with satin ties, strings and lace. That wasn't her and she hadn't come here to play dress up. She came to show Jacob she loved him and she trusted him. She came to give him all of her. The real her. Not a Barbie doll dressed up in fancy clothes.

In the end she hadn't eradicated all of the fear, but she summoned enough courage to open the bathroom door and enter the darkened room in only a towel, no make-up, and her hair the way Jake liked it. Loose ringlets around her bare shoulders, and no pretenses. It wasn't the time to present an airbrushed version of herself, covered in satin and lace. It was a moment meant for stripping down to the truth of who they were, separately and together.

Jacob turned from the window at her approach and locked his eyes on hers. In all his years of knowing her, she'd always been a master illusionist, capable of hiding in plain sight when it was hardest to be honest, or where being vulnerable was imminent. It was less so since she'd come to trust in the fact that he loved her, but tonight, on her face, there was a clarity that shook him. In the deep brown of her eyes there were no more shadows, no walls to keep him out. She wasn't hiding.

She stopped at the edge of the bed and he continued toward her, never taking his eyes from hers. His breath was ragged, fingertips tingling at the promise of touching her. He couldn't seem to reach her fast enough and when he finally stood in front of her and ran his hand over the goose bumped flesh of her arms, he nearly cried out his relief at being near her. Touching her made this real.

Running his hand over her cheek, he brushed the hair away from her face, closed his eyes and leaned down, pressing his forehead to hers. She was trembling against him, whether from cold or fear he couldn't be sure, so he pulled her tight against him. She tensed then, moving her head to rest on his chest.

He ignored what was building and coursing through him, ignoring his desire to grab the towel covering her and throw it to the farthest corner of the room. He wouldn't rush. He could wait for her.

"I love you," he said. She nodded against his chest. "And you know we don't have to do anything you don't want to." She froze, her shoulders rigid. "Bella, look at me."

She raised her head and met his eyes. He wrestled with the raw lust that looking at her filled him with. It was a hard fight. Just the thought of what lay beneath the towel draped around her petite frame made it hard to breathe. But everything else was secondary to his promise to her. He would put her first, even if not having her felt like it would kill him.

"If you don't want to…"

"No, Jacob," she said, her voice regaining its strength. "I want this. I want you, so much. It's just…" She sighed. "This. It changes everything."

Threading his arms around her, he leaned in close, whispering in her ear.

"The best things always do. Loving you…it changed everything. And I wouldn't take it back now. Not for anything."

He felt her relax into him, her hand sliding from his neck, down his arm. She pulled back and squeezed his hand before letting go and walking past him toward the bed. At the side she turned out the light on the nightstand and turned toward him. Looking into his eyes, she raised her hand to the knot that held closed the white towel covering her. With a short tug, it fell into a puddle at her feet, and he envied the moon that kissed her skin and bathed her body in its light.

He always told her she was beautiful. It was still true, but the way she looked now, the word seem inadequate. It was more than just what he could see and touch that made it so. It was the way she stood, pressing past the fear of what tomorrow might bring, offering herself to him.

She was showing him a part of herself that no one had ever seen, giving him something no one ever had and one she could never give again. That truth tugged at the fraying strands of his self-control until they finally released him. He couldn't stand another minute without her skin under his hands. He felt heavy with the weight of wanting her, needing her.

He rushed to where she stood and captured her lips with his. The kiss wasn't soft. It was firm and demanding. He sucked at her bottom lip, running his tongue along the sensitive flesh behind it. She opened her mouth, deepening the kiss, moving her lips insistently against his. Pressing herself into him, she slid her hand along his jaw and into his hair. His hand rested at the small of her back, his fingers tracing circles on the skin there, sending tiny shivers up her spine.

There would be no stopping this time – she knew that. There was more that lay beyond their kisses and knowing that made her hungry for him. Her hand drifted from his neck, grabbing hold of the bottom of his shirt, slipping her hands underneath. She ran each one across the skin of his chest, over his stomach, tracing the lines of his hipbones as they disappeared beneath his pants.

"Too many clothes," she smiled into his mouth, tugging at his shirt. "This needs to go."

"Your wish is my command," he said, stepping back to pull his shirt over his head. His hand went to the button of his jeans.

"Let me," she whispered. She undid the button and slid the zipper down. Slipping her hands in behind him, she pushed his jeans down until they fell to his feet. He stepped out of them quickly, pulling her back into his arms.

They'd never been this close, she realized – skin to skin, the only thing preventing full contact the thin fabric that did little to disguise the thickness of him as it pressed against her. She squirmed against it. A moan rippled through his chest and his lips were on hers again, his tongue twisting against hers. Her pulse quickened as he tightened an arm around her waist, lifting her into the air, never breaking the kiss. Turning her towards the bed, he laid her softly at the center of it.

On his knees beside her he stared down, eyes raking over her as he lowered himself, his body a shadow over hers. He lay there, just kissing her, his hands running softly over every curve, now free to discover even the hidden places. This was worship as foreplay. He wanted his hands to know every inch of her, memorize the slope of her hip, the dip of her waist, the soft swell of her breasts.

Neither of them knew exactly what they were doing, but mechanics seemed somehow irrelevant. Their bodies moved against each other, familiar even in the newness of their circumstance. What they knew was a fierce hunger for the other that demanded attention. What they didn't know they would learn the same way they had so many other things – together.

He hovered over her, his mouth hot against her neck as he sucked at the skin there, dragging his tongue against the vein, reaching her ear, nibbling at her earlobe. She was sure she'd never known what it felt like to be adored until the moment he looked down at her, his eyes dark with lust, drinking her in. And then his mouth was on her again, running a circuit across her body from head to hip and back again, every kiss falling on her like the sweetest of promises.

"So beautiful." His words were muffled as he licked his way down the valley between her breasts.

"You always say that," she whispered.

"It's always true." His hands shook as he took one breast in his hand, kneading the flesh, searching her eyes for permission to take them where they hadn't been. She pressed her hand to the back of his head in answer, leading him to where she needed him, and her breath left her in a rush as his tongue traced a circle around her nipple before drawing it between his lips. Like a current, his mouth sent heat surging through her. He placed feather-light kisses over her chest as he moved to her other breast, his tongue twisting and swirling as he drew more of her into his mouth.

His hands molded to her body as they found their way down her ribcage, over the curve of her hip and onto her thigh. She tried, in vain, to stop herself from quivering as he spread her legs with one of his, tracing a line over her knee to her inner thigh with his fingers. Their softness was more suggestion of touch than touch itself as they moved and higher and higher still, turning her to liquid beneath him. When their maddeningly slow ascent brought them to her center, her hips jerked, pressing into his hand, seeking release.

"Please, Jacob," she breathed.

He lay propped beside her, and at her breathless pleading, he smiled.

"Someone's impatient."

At another time she might have said something witty, but his fingers playing at the edge of her entrance, refusing to touch her where she wanted it most, made it impossible for her to form coherent thought let alone banter.

"Just…ahhh." Her eyes rolled as one finger slid across her core.

"Just what?" he asked, kissing along her jaw line, returning his fingers to their teasing. "What do you want me to do, Bella?"

"Touch me." She barely recognized the throaty whisper of her own voice.

He needed no further encouragement and as he slid one finger inside her, his thumb running circles around her clit as she hissed. There was blinding light behind her eyes and she cried out from the shock of it, the sound of her pleasure cut off as he kissed her. She rocked her hips, arms tight around his neck as he set their rhythm. She returned his kiss hungrily. Her mind was hazy; the feel of him, the taste of him was all that made sense.

"Oh, God, Jacob…"

"Does that feel good?" he murmured against the side of her mouth.

"So good, don't stop…"

He wouldn't stop – he couldn't, not with her mouth sucking and biting at his neck. With her moaning and writhing beneath him. He'd never seen anything so sexy and even as he throbbed with the need for his own release, he was too mesmerized by her reaction to quit, or even slow down. He quickened the pace of his fingers, watching as she tensed, a red blush blossoming on her chest.

He pressed himself against her leg, needing the friction even if it threatened to end it all way too soon. He'd read that the more aroused a woman was, the easier it was the first time. He didn't want to hurt her or take the chance that in the moment he'd be done before she was satisfied. So he'd pay attention to her first, and pray he had the strength to hold on.

She was loud now, calling out into the otherwise silent room.

"Jacob! Ahhh!" She fell back against the bed, back arched and mouth open, and he felt her clench around his finger before her body went slack. She lay still as he removed his hand and lay beside her, staring into her face. She was breathing hard, her dark hair wild across the pillow.

He placed soft kisses on her eyelids, trying to calm himself, but it was no use. He hadn't had enough. He needed more of her – all of her. He ran his fingers along her side, grasping her hip. She was so still that for a moment he wondered if she was asleep.

"Bells?" he said softly.

"Mmm-hmm. Just give me a sec."

The man he was becoming was happy she was satisfied, and proud he was the cause. The boy he was now protested the interruption loudly.

She opened her eyes and peered up at him, laughing softly.

"Don't look so disappointed."

He hadn't realized what the look on his face might be saying.

"I'm not disappointed. I'm…"

"Ready for your turn?" she said, her voice low. Before he could speak she wrapped her hand around the base of his neck and pulled him down to her. He realized then he could kiss her for the rest of his life and never tire of it. Her hands fell to his shoulders, running over them. She outlined the muscles of his chest inching lower to his waist, scratching softly at the skin just below his navel. Stopping at the elastic to his boxers she hooked her thumbs into the waistband tugging them over his hips. He rose up and pulled them off clumsily, both of them laughing as he fell back to the bed.

"Now who's impatient?" she teased. She tried to look calm but as her eyes raked over him, down the chiseled abs to what lay beneath, she could not stop her eyes from going wide. It was bigger than she'd expected. She'd known, or assumed, that the wolf gene's influence on his growth could not have stopped at height and muscle mass. She'd felt him against her those nights, tangled together on the bed in her room, but this was the first time she'd seen it. She suddenly felt both scared and thrilled.

Jacob smiled at her reaction. He knew that when it came to his body, he had no reason to be ashamed. For all the hell being a wolf put him and his pack brothers through, this was one of its few blessings. Seeing Bella's eyes run over him appreciatively boosted his ego and he felt the strain as the wolf inside him called out his pleasure.

Pushing on his shoulder, Bella turned them so that she was on top. Her legs draped over either side of his waist and he groaned as her backside pressed down onto him. With an open mouth her tongue began a trail along his neck, over his chest. She wriggled against him, positioning herself lower, knees on either side of his legs. She placed a hand to his chest to balance herself, nibbling at the skin of his stomach, leaving heat in her wake like a match to a trail of gasoline.

Looking down the line of his body he found her eyes were on his. She was really going to do this and look at him while doing it. It was too much; he stiffened to granite hardness when she came to a stop, her small hand moving up his thigh. She placed her hand along his shaft, grasping the base and he nearly wept as her warm, hot mouth engulfed him. The pressure of her lips around him, her tongue swirling around the tip as her hand matched the up and down movement of her mouth. It was heaven. It was bliss.

And it was going to have to stop.

"Bella…" She ignored him, increasing the pace of her movements until he saw stars. "Bells!" He attempted to sit up, which only pressed him further into her mouth, until he disappeared behind her lips and thought sure he'd die on the spot. "Unhh! God!" he threw his head back and tried to remember why he wanted her to stop. The tension building in his gut, pushing him closer to the edge, was his answer. He reached down and gently lifted her head, scooting his hips back.

Her eyes were confused. "Why are you stopping? Did I…do it wrong?"

"No!" he said, "That was…amazing. But if you don't stop, this is going to be over really soon."

She laughed, nodding her understanding. She crawled back up his body, her head coming to rest in the crook of his neck. He rubbed his hands over her back, drifting down over the delicious curve of her ass. Her breath was a soft rush over his skin.

"Everything," she said. "Everything you do to me feels so good."

She ground her hips into him, both of them jolted by the electricity as his dick made contact with the pool of wetness between her legs. Sitting up, one hand in her hair, the other wrapped over her stomach, she began to rock against him. If being inside her was going to feel this good, he wasn't sure he could take it.

She was slick against him as he lifted his hips, pressing into her, but never far enough. Biting her lip, she dropped further onto her knees and his tip passed through her folds. She flinched and fell down over him, hands on his shoulders. He took advantage of the temporary shift in power and flipped her over roughly.

He continued to rub against her, drenched now in the proof that she wanted him as much as he wanted her. He kissed her, his lips forceful and insistent. His mouth demanding response, hers responding in kind. Spreading her legs, he positioned himself between them. She was quiet now and he knew.

This was it.

This whole night, their whole lives, had been leading up to this moment. There was no turning back from here, no more waiting or wondering. This would make her his in a way that she could never belong to anyone else. The thought didn't scare him; it pushed him. This woman lying in his arms was all he wanted. Not just now, but forever.

He reached over to the nightstand, pulling out the drawer and grabbing the condoms he'd put there while she was in the shower. Small foil package in hand, he perched on one elbow, opening it.

"Better safe than sorry," he said, pulling the condom out of the package. Bella pulled it from his hand and he squeezed his eyes shut as he found himself again wrapped in her grip. She rolled the latex down impossibly slow and he wondered if she was torturing him on purpose.

Looking down at her, his eyes asked the question his mouth couldn't form.

_Are you sure? Are you ready?_

In answer to his silent inquiry Bella shifted on the bed, reaching between them to place the tip his length at her opening. He lay against her, head by her neck, and pushed into her slowly. He stopped when he was met with resistance and the sound of Bella whimpering beneath him. He sat up, scanning her face.

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No," she said. "Just…go slow."

He did. He was slow and deliberate, biting his lip until he thought he'd draw blood. She was so hot, so wet. He moved into her again and again. His body shook with the effort to keep himself from delving deeper. Finally, he pushed forward and felt the barrier give way as he slipped into her, faster than he'd intended. His ears were ringing, he felt dizzy. All around his dick she wrapped him in silken heat, with every thrust gliding over slick walls. He threw his head back, a groan more feral than human escaping his lips as he called out her name. For the rest of his life, pleasure would be defined by this moment, and he was lost in it.

Bella pressed her hips into the bed, her body involuntarily moving away from the pain, searing and insistent at her core. She'd known it would hurt, but she hadn't expected the sudden sharpness of it, feeling herself stretch to accommodate him. It was pain different than any she'd known, but it was also a new kind of joy.

Looking into his face above her, jaw tense, eyes closed as he called her name with jagged breath, she'd have done it again, a thousand times again no matter the pain. Just to hear him say her name that way. Just to know that he was hers.

The pain subsided, overtaken by a pleasure that made her feel like she was flying inside of her skin. Where the pain had been instant, this new feeling came in flashes matched to the timing of his thrusts, each one tightening the spring of coiled heat in her stomach. Just as she adjusted to one wave another would replace it, stronger than the first. It was a building crescendo.

She knew he felt it too. Above her, he bit his lip in concentration, his breathing rapid. His fingers dug into the skin on her hip, grabbing it, pulling her closer and closer. She understood this need; she didn't think she could be close enough. He was over her, in her, all around her, and still she wanted more. Spreading her legs further, he sunk down into her, hitching her leg over his hip, wrapping it around his back, his hand sliding under her to the soft curve of her ass. This change in position drove him into her completely. The feeling of her, drenched and throbbing around him was, all at once, too much and not enough. He couldn't control himself, couldn't seem to maintain a steady movement. His strokes were as erratic as his breathing. Bella moved wildly under him, whimpering, gasping, crying out his name, and whispering her love for him. He wanted to prolong it, to live in the center of the greatest feeling he'd ever had, but he knew his body wouldn't hold out much longer.

He moved frantically, burying himself in her. Every sense was sharpened, everything more vivid. At the base of his shaft there was a tightening that ran the length of his body and he curled inward, eyes rolling against the sensation. He was close.

"Oh God, Jacob." Bella's voice was high and keening. She grabbed onto his neck, his arms, his back. Her hands were in constant motion, her hips, twisting, twirling, threatening to undo him. "I think I'm going to…"

Her words were cut off as he slid out of her and slammed back in, even deeper than before, hitting a spot she'd only heard existed. She screamed and he felt her begin to spasm around him, clenching and unclenching, pulling and releasing. It was his ending.

Lowering his lips to hers he gave in and with a final thrust he was pulled from his body, the world exploding around him like shattering glass on pavement. He screamed out her name into the quiet room and felt her tighten around him once more. He burst, tremors sending his body shuddering against hers, the legs she'd wrapped around him shaking, her fingers clawing at his back as she opened her mouth in a silent scream.

And then they were still.

He couldn't move, but he knew his weight would be too much on her small frame so he rolled to his side, gathering her into his arms, unwilling yet to break the connection between them.

She lay there, her back pressed firmly to his chest, trying to catch her breath. Trying to stop her legs from shaking. She understood now why it had been important to wait; understood why this couldn't have happened with anyone else. No one on Earth would ever be as close to her as Jacob had been in that moment. She wouldn't want to share that connection with anyone else.

Jacob's arms wrapped tighter around her, his face buried in her hair. His breathing had almost returned to normal. She ran her fingers along his arm, leaning further back into his chest.

"You okay?" he asked.

She nodded and raised his hand to her lips, placing a kiss against his palm. He felt wetness against his hand and rose up to look into her face.

"Bells, are you crying?" She hadn't really realized it until he spoke. But there they were, tears coursing down her cheeks. "Baby, what's wrong. Did I hurt you?" He sounded desperate and she shifted in his arms, facing him with a soft smile on her face.

"You didn't hurt me."

"Then why are you crying?" he asked, poised to fix whatever he'd done to hurt her.

She shook her head, "It's just…that was," she sighed, "perfect."

He relaxed and rested his chin on the top of her head and held her in the silence. Her breath against his neck was soft and steady. She was asleep.

He smiled to himself. She was right – it had been perfectly them. Laughter and tears, pleasure and pain. He couldn't imagine anything had ever felt as right as this, or ever would again.

_Yep_, he thought as Bella's heart beat against his chest. _Perfect._

* * *

**Well, there you go! I'm no longer a Twilight fan fiction virgin! **

**So, how'd I do? Let me know, leave a review!**


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